Thursday, May 29, 2008


The roads here are winding, full of hills, and surrounded by the subtle warmth of newly green deciduous trees. It's beautiful, I could say, but I don't.

One day, I think, I'll grow up and I'll be a beautiful woman, but for today, I am just a curious child. I don't really enjoy driving much because I lose sight of the scenery, musical ambiance of my stereo, and anything else that I would normally divert my attention to. Instead, I think far in-depth about myself and the situations which surround me.

It seems that I have been seeing more and more vexation in the lives of my friends, or perhaps it is simply that they have been sharing this with me more frequently. I try to keep myself behind others, to help them get their minds above worry and aggravation, but what I've decided is that humanism and cleverness of mind are two seperate and irrelevant concepts. I look at those same trees as I drive past them what seems to be daily, and I wish, quite frankly, that I were living as they do; in harmony.

You look at the forest or a single tree and you see them as you see a human being, shaped by matter. Like transcendentalists, larger than yourself. They have the most artistic and intricate root system of any other rooted plant, but it is hidden from the eye, below the depths to let their otter light shine and perhaps return their inner light. the trees do not seperate themselves from the universe. With this thinking, you could dissolve all consciousness of yourself and live as the universe.

But, alas, we are human. We spend our time in an endless search for intellect and resolve of issues which were never physically placed in our hands. When we fail we think of how we might have succeeded. We're trying constantly to bring love into stern eyes, softness into sardonic faces, and wine silent conquests without weapons; we're humans trying to accomplish things beyond our capabilities and wrongly labeling it 'ambition.' I am guilty of this more than most, I assume. I am constantly trying to settle the quandaries that I find myself and those close to me surrounded with.

One day, I think, I'll grow up and I'll save my breath for the sails.